I don't know what went into the ugly creature that provides me with delicious food every day, but somehow, I felt she's taking the piss, to be frank. Not only did I sit here with one sun, instead of two, but her services were poorly.
When I wake up, I want to be left in peace, well, so far, she obeys by these rules. But when I've sun-bathed and are all warm and fuzzy, I get hungry. And that means I'm almost starving. I could eat her, if only she would stand still for long enough.
So there I lay, lazy butt held into the warmth, waiting for her to come and serve me. Ha! She was nowhere to be seen, nor heard. But what could I do? Well, I climbed, jumped and walked around my house. This usually gets her attention. But still: nothing. Okay, then, I'll just wait until she pops her head into my home and makes those funny noises, I thought. I've learned that when she does this, food is on its way.
Here she comes, I thought, now almost falling from my high seat. A huge heap was placed in front of me and I tucked in as if there's no tomorrow. Aaah, gorgeous. I didn't even mind her touching me, if it wasn't for the length she always does it. Then, she left me alone. Damn time, woman!
Of course not for long. As soon as I've finished, I actually planned to laze about, maybe snooze off a little, but I needed to do my business. Sorry, peeps, but it had to be done. And it keeps her on her toes, too. Yeah, I know, I'm mean. But that's what personal slaves are for, no?
All I want to do is lay down, digest the good meal and dream of an iguana-perfect world.