Thursday, December 27, 2012

Online Life Insurance Quote Us

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Saturday, December 22, 2012

A rant to match the new address: Indies again.

How are you, guys? Sorry if you have been searching for my blog and got the following message:

Yep, I've been a naughty girl and changed the blog address. I started a new site for my books and what inspired me to write them, and wanted to have this blog for ranting purposes and all the other stuff I'm blogging about. I thought it's time to separate them. The book site is for readers only and this one is for anyone who's interested in what I have to say.

Right, and because this blog is called Stella Deleuze rants, it's only appropriate if I launch right into one.

You know the newest petition that's making the round? The one against Amazon's deleting reviews without explanation? Well, I'm not going to sign it. And I'll tell you why: Indies with their fake reviews, with their attacking reviewers, with their slagging off or tagging and sabotaging other authors' books, shouldn't be surprised that Amazon takes to those measures. Amazon probably gets thousands of requests to remove negative reviews from furious self-published authors who think their precious book doesn't deserve the 1-star review it received, or they get abuse reported because someone doesn't like it that a fellow author, who just happens to be higher in the charts, gets a bloody, and probably fake 5-star review! How dare he! Amazon, do something about it!
I could imagine that all the recent press about uncovered fake reviews pressured Amazon to make changes. And, as usual, Indies brought it upon themselves. Shame it's the bad apples that make everyone suffer. Yet again. Even if the petition would work, which I somehow doubt, it would just result in Amazon having constant e-mail battles with Indie authors who appeal Amazon's explanation as to why they'd removed reviews. And we still would have a continuation of the same fake review/slagging off nonsense.
I'm sick and tired to hear about the complaints about the issue revolving around reviews. The only people I find it unfair against is when it happens to honest reader reviews; those readers who took the time to draft a write up to help other readers make a decision. I don't get why authors with 50+ reviews throw a hissy fit when three of them get deleted. Yes, it may temper with your star-rating, but heck. If you have already over 50 reviews your book is probably selling well enough. If the book's not selling at all, three more or less reviews will hardly make a difference, right?
Those of us who only have very few reviews (and I'm one of them), and received them from readers, not authors, are pretty safe, I would assume. I only got one 5-star-review removed from Tony (an author) who happened to love my book. It was put back in place when he enquired. And, as expected, a case of another Indie who didn't take it too well that Tony didn't like his book, reported abuse and asked Amazon to remove it. As a result, all of Tony's reviews were deleted. He'd just been honest.
I don't blame Amazon for having enough of it. I really don't. What worries me the most is that if Indies don't stop, Amazon may one day decided to ban all of us and return to work with traditional publishers only. 
By the way: one of my books with only one (5-star) review proves to be my bestseller, leaving the one with 15 reviews, overall rated 4.5 stars, easily behind.

Indies, stop complaining and get on with writing. Your readers will thank you for it. And if you really are that cross with Amazon, take your books elsewhere. It's not that anyone forces you to sell through Amazon. And don't complain they have the monopoly on the market: you've made it happen.

Note: shoes are there, put them on on own peril. :-)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ask and you will get

I'm one of the millions of people who received a letter from Virgin Media announcing a raise in prices. My first reaction was to leave and find a new provider, but looking at other companies' tariffs, I think I'm actually in good hands with Virgin. I only have broadband through fibre optic cable and, despite a few down times, like yesterday where it was down for hours (!), it's quite reliable. I don't need a landline, although that may change next year, and I don't have a telly, so it's just broadband and me.
Since I'm from an insurance background, I know that in case of a price increase, customers have the right to 'break' the contract without any fines, and can sign with a new company, so I checked the small print and found that that applied to my contract with Virgin, too. Well, I hate hassle, and to avoid that I called them up and asked them what they can do for me. After a bit of haggling I'll end up paying 15p more, but it will still be around �5 less each month than the normal price. This will include a renewal of my 12 months contract.
It pays to ask because the companies don't want to lose customers, particularly not if they've been with them for years. You need to be a little persistent, though, they won't offer you anything right away, but if you make clear that you expect them to appreciate your loyalty, and if not, you'll leave, they'll normally co-operate. In my time as an insurance broker, I learned that new clients who signed up for a car insurance, always got a better deal than the one who's been with the company for years. You can ring them up and ask them for the newest offer.
I do that regularly: first I check the market, then call up my providers to negotiate, normally with a positive outcome. There's always something companies can do. At least in my experience.
Beware, though, using comparing sites like MoneySupermarket or uSwitch, as they may not have the cheapest tariffs available. I found it's better to call the individual companies directly and ask what their latest tariffs are, then compare yourself. It's a bit more labour intensive, but if it saves you money, why not? Depending on how much, you can put it aside for a lovely night out or towards a new Kindle, a holiday or a car. Whatever takes your fancy.

Note: Make sure you have checked other companies before agreeing to anything. Providers will try to get a 'yes' out of you quickly. If unsure, check again and don't agree to anything if put on the spot. Ask for a time frame, until when you need to make a decision, then note it down together with the name of the person you're discussing with and date and time of the call so you can refer to that particular conversation.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The man in my life ...

A wonderful Green Iguana named Zorro. I have had him since August 2008 when he was just three years old. Took him from a couple who couldn't keep him anymore. My little female one died after a complicated surgery, age fifteen, and I still think she died of broken heart when she woke and thought I've abandoned her (had to leave her with a friend when I moved to the UK and she didn't take it very well). Long story and I think I told it before. So, because I can't imagine my life without an iguana, I looked for another one. And I wanted a 'rescue', as there are so many adult iguanas waiting for a loving and knowledgeable home. Those of you who have followed my blog for a while know that my biggest dream is to open a Reptile Rescue & Education centre here in London, but I doubt it's going to happen any time soon. Nothing can be more rewarding (to me) than helping abandoned animals to find a new home for them.

This big boy of mine is my medicine, is the one that really makes me smile, laugh even and, despite him being so aggressive, I love him to bits. Although in Zorro's case, it's literally unconditional; I doubt he loves me back like my little girl used to do.
Nevertheless, I'm glad to have him and would not give him away.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Ouch! I stepped on stage and I got booed.

I've wrangled with the thought about writing this. Should I, or should I not? Well, I decided if I write about positive reviews, I'm allowed to write about negative reviews, too, right?
Particularly if it smells extraordinarily strong of 'let's see if she can take it'. Please don't get me wrong, it's not a complaint; I knew that with my constant bashing of the self-published books that failed to make me sit up, I was ripe for some payback. And it happened. Finally.
I'm aware there is some sabotaging of self-published books going on, and I've been 'victim' of that beforehand when my books were tagged inappropriately, but I confronted the culprit and he apologised, saying something got on his nerves that day, then removed the tag. Never had any beef with that guy, but he obviously didn't know how else to get rid of his frustration and targeted me.
This time, someone has left a review on one of my books. Something I said would happen. And since I mention No Wings Attached in the recently released rant, it was the one that got picked. Despite it looking like an honest review, it ticks quite a few boxes for me to suspect payback.
1. It's not a verified purchase and I haven't sold any on Smashwords, and very few on Amazon.
2. It uses the same wordings I use in Rage against the Indie
3. The person hasn't reviewed any books, bar one, then quickly wrote a few on the same day as my review came in.
4. The person claims to have turned the pages (presumably until the end), but complaints about no paranormal/supernatural happenings. (The wish consultant is not the supernatural human being I refer to in the pitch.)
5. The review was immediately voted as helpful, despite my not promoting the book a lot. All other reviews have suddenly been marked as unhelpful. Nobody had ever bothered with them beforehand. At least not the newer ones.

Here's the review:

I dicovered this title through the 'customers who viewed this item, also viewed..' sector on a novel I was interested in, and I foolishly chose this one. The only reason I'm giving this novel two stars and not one is because I was drawn in by a comfortable writing style and interesting premise. This, however, was a lie. The storyline went downhill so fast that I was tearing my hair out and begging the characters to stop cooking and talking and just start doing something. *Anything*. But I was sorely disappointed when the main two characters did little more than um and ah about their feelings. Okay, that's fine. I can expect little else from a romance, after all. Too bad about the use of the words 'supernatural powers' in the description. Highly misleading, considering there is nothing super about a guy who grants the odd wish, but there you go.
I can overlook a terrible plot. This novel was crafted in an interesting way, following Celia and Tom as narrators by giving them both a voice every few pages or so. But wait, who am I reading about? Yes, it says the narrator at the start of their narration, but what if a reader leaves partway through a chapter? Are we to go back to the start? You'd think that the characters would be easy to tell apart. That their voices would be different. No chance. They might as well be the same person, which shows a serious lack of perspective from this author.
Moving on. I could write about every flaw of this novel, bit that would most probably take longer than the production of No Wings Attached. Instead, I'll move onto the most infuriating aspect; punctuation. There is a massive overuse of commas, and they were so extreme that I actually threw my kindle down in frustration multiple times, unable to read on. It made me read in a very disconnected way and, coupled with poor sentence structure, I was made to feel as though I was reading in an unfamiliar language. Words had been dumped out of order, commas littered each sentence, and typos would crop up unexpectedly.
Please heed my warning. My rating really is too kind, as I have never before read something as terrible as this. I feel cheated. The premise promised something that was never delivered. The only reason I kept turning pages was to ensure my money wasn't wasted, but I can say now that it was. More importantly, my time was wasted, and a small chunk of sanity was lost along the way.

To be honest it raised merely a grin, but shows that how the Indie scene really is. Readers complain (rightly so) about fake praise, and this is the other end to the debacle: fake slagging off books. It can do massive harm. Even though readers say they can tell a fake negative review, I'm not sure one can always distinguish. In the case of No Wings Attached, you just need to read the other reviews to get your clues and write something up. I also have an idea who this person might be, because the voice sounds familiar.

Just to be clear: I'm not offended. I am bold with my view on self-published books and I've made some enemies along the way. You've got to bleed if you want to win a battle.

A quick plea: DO NOT act on the review. Don't go and attack the person, don't vote unhelpful, don't do anything, please. I'm not complaining, it's not a whiny post, it's just a matter-of-fact-post. I blog about self-publishing and the Indie scene behind the scenes, and this is just an example. I'm sure there will be more coming my way, at least I know my writing's not the reason.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

When a review makes me spit out my tea.

After unleashing my rant onto the unsuspecting self-published authors, I honestly didn't know what would come my way; I expected abusive e-mails, negative reviews or attacks from everywhere. The reality surprised me. Lots of e-mails and messages telling me how much they laughed when they read the book, people admitting they recognised themselves, and thanking me for publishing a very helpful guide. I'm still a little gobsmacked to be honest. I feared my intentions weren't clear and people may take it the wrong way, when all I really want to do is help writers who think about self-publishing or those who've already done so and struggle to understand why their books aren't selling. Humour is what comes naturally to me, and as a Ranting Queen, I think it was a must to write that book as a rant. And it is harsh, but more tough love than anything else.

I received 4 reviews so far, 3 on the other side of the pond and 1 in the UK. I've also been told, and I'm hanging my head in shame, that there are a few typos, but somehow, I expected them. I was careful when proofing, took my time, but they still sneaked in. The perils of doing most of the work yourself, I guess.
Anyway, if you know someone who is toying with the thought of self-publishing, or maybe even someone who's just starting out to write, please share the news about the book. I hardly ask and I'm normally against it, but this is a book for writers, not aimed to make me a bit profit. The only people who should profit from the book are writers. :-)

Have a good Sunday.


Saturday, December 1, 2012

And now to you, npower!

You see, I've been with your company for almost six years and, despite a few hiccups in the beginning, when you thought it's a good idea to increase my bills without letting me know and, more importantly, without any reason, but paying me back after I'd called you twice, it all ran quite smoothly. Even better: my bills became less and less, because I'm a considerate person who tries to save energy where she can. I even got a new gas meter, which I feared may increase the costs, (as I've been told by the friendly gas man) but it didn't. Lucky me.
Of course I was pretty pleased when my bills for gas and electricity got less and less. And that is because I don't own a telly or stereo or any other entertaining equipment. I also use energy saving light bulbs everywhere and only light and heat the room I'm in. Clever, innit?
Well, apart from the iguana, which requires heat. So in 2010 I got a large vivarium for the big boy, and with it, I got a 150W ceramic heat emitter, two 100W basking bulbs, and a heating mat, which all cost a lot of money. And in the winter I swapped the 150W heat emitter for 250W. But still, my bills became less. Mind you, I only used my laptop all day and one single energy saving bulb in the evening, plus the electric cooker. And I only heated the living room/bedroom and in the bathroom for short periods. (It was a studio flat). When it was really cold, I even had the heating on most of the day and often a few hours at night. It was a very old and cold building.
Nevertheless, I ended up paying �19 a month for both, gas and electricity. Surely, you can see that I was pretty happy about it. I knew my neighbours didn't pay much either. Why? Because I asked them.

Okay, in January 2012, I moved into a 1-bedroom flat. Which was all pretty exciting and wonderful, but maybe you could explain to me why I have to pay �106 per month now! Because I really don't understand. I have the same equipment, same iguana, same light and heating bulbs, and I've not changed my behaviour: I still only light and heat (much less) the room I'm in, yet the costs increase. I'd like to know why.

When I called you and explained my situation, your staff kept babbling about the vivarium using most of the energy, which is logical, but it used the same energy beforehand, so that doesn't make sense, does it? I'm sure you will agree that if I have one lamp in one flat and carry the same lamp to another flat, it should use the same amount of energy, right? So I don't need your staff to tell me I should talk to your energy advice department, because I know my bills should be a little higher due to the vivarium. I wouldn't say anything if I had to pay a little more because the radiator is bigger than in my old flat, but how come that I'm paying that much of a difference? I mean between �19 and �106 is a large gap. Even with the credit I had, and I would have paid about �30 without it. It's still a huge difference. And no, I don't think my meters in the old place ran particularly slow, as you'd like argue.

Every time when I call you, you merrily tell me I have to pay even more because I dared to use some gas for having a shower, or even heating a little. And, as you can imagine, I'm not impressed. At all!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Don't get me started!

... because I just want my peace and quiet. ;-)

Well, at least from ranting about Indies. I always said I'll stop when I've published Rage against the Indie, because I got it all out of my system. And it feels good. It's now out there, for self-published authors or still unpublished writers to learn while having a giggle and I can shape-shift back into calm Stella. And I really need it, for I'm going to continue with the novel I was rewriting, when the desire to write the rant side-tracked me. It's a very gentle novel, and it's essential to be in the right head space when rewriting it. I wrote it 2010/2011 and put it aside for a while, then fiddled with it several times, but it doesn't meet my expectations anymore. Somehow I was almost about to give up on it when I had an epiphany of how it could engage---no, challenge me---again. I'm mainly writing for the challenge, you see? To me, writing is not only 'getting rid' of a story idea, but turning it into a novel that will engage my brain as well as readers when it's finished. In this case I'll try to turn the book into metafiction. I love trying out new things, playing with a reader's consciousness by confusing him subtly so that he questions reality and fiction, but not to the point that he's annoyed; instead I try to keep him turning the pages, because he wants to know if he reaches clarity, which he may or not achieve.
This will be a massive project, almost like writing a new novel, but the bones are great, and I love the way the story develops. Just thinking about tearing it down, like a house you demolish to rebuild, but keeping most of the parts to recycle, I feel the history of the novel will be prominent throughout the story, but enhanced by the new plot devices.
This will be my biggest challenge yet, and damn, am I looking forward to it.

But fear not, I'll have another rant coming up. This time: stupid people who weren't as good at catching logic when it was thrown at them. You didn't really think I'm done with ranting in general, did you?

Have a good weekend, everyone. 

Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm a guest blogger today

Because I've been ranting about self-published authors and their books for so long, I was approached by Louise, who's been blogging and supporting Indies for years now, but also runs monthly themes on her blog. November is all about either romance or KPD (Amazon's publishing platform). 
Of course I couldn't let such an opportunity slip by and said yes to writing an article.

You can read it here:

Please stop by and say hello.

Other than that: I'll post a new recipe shortly.
Because this post looks a bit lonely, I've decided to post the two reviews the book has received: Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

Review one:
I picked up this work with trepidation - given the title, and expected to find a negative diatribe on self-publishing - that new horizon for anyone who can tap on a keyboard. I was pleasantly surprised by --- the truth. This book hits the nail on the head, presenting the wide-ranging abuses and frustrating explosion of breakneck writing and unbridled promotion as an adjunct to the advent of self-publishing. The rant is not against self-publishing, but a bold, R-rated demand for quality and self-examination by those who feel they are the next Hemmingway and are merely inflicting their delusions on others. The rant is true and fair and is meant to be heard by authors who blame their readers for the failure to attract favor -- readers, who have reached the limit. I found the rant encouraging to those who heed the main points and soul search before they leap into the public publishing arena with works which make the reading public dizzy and gun-shy of the entire movement. The RANT is not meant to discourage those who have found readers, but to that fortunate sector, the message is clear -- and the course is definite. Quality, engaging stories, good editing, clean proofing and, in short, something worthy of writers for readers, and not a venture fired by a need to become rich and famous.

One-third of Stella Deleuze's book moves like fire (and frankly, I found the examples engagingly funny - almost like good stand-up. The remainder of the book covers sound principles in story delevopment and creation - many of which are covered in dozens of other books. However, unlike those texty classics, Ms. Deleuze remains engaging and clearly underscores the importance of some elements over others. I particularly enjoyed the section of detecting story discontinuity -- tests for common problems, which authors sometimes miss - like proofers miss problems lurking in Headlines.

I believe some might misunderstand this book's intent. However, I hope not. I hope many are put off from their endevors (or at least have second thoughts) and spare themselves and readers the late night hobby syndrome. I believe everyone has a voice, but sometimes the song is sour and the ears shut down. This Book IS a rant - don't doubt it, but solutions are offered and no apologies are given. Bravo!

Review two:
I encountered this book in the Meet Our Authors forum here on Amazon and, based upon the premise, decided to read what the Look Inside feature allowed. When I reached the end, I immediately bought it so I could finish.

This is strong, solid advice. I admit I've made some of the mistakes outlined in this book, especially when I first started toying with self-publishing. Now I sit ashamed, thinking back on some of my dumbest self-promotional tactics. How annoying was I?

How annoying am I now?

Every self-published author should fork over the .99c for this book. If it doesn't improve your perspective on marketing, you're probably a full-time writer, which means you didn't need to read it anyway.

Thank you for this.

Winston 77p  99c 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Indies, listen up: how not to behave on a public forum:

I'm making this week a bit of a Rage against the Indie week, because, well ... because. 
This is what happened on my promo thread on the Amazon forum. I'm promoting my book, and have one thread on each side of the pond. I'm addressing writers, after all. All I can say is, had she read my book, this wouldn't have happened. We had a fun and friendly exchange, until she felt it necessary to post a link to her book. That doesn't sit well with me.
Her, after putting the link first: hey there, Stella! my turn to hang my head in shame, I guess: it took me four years to produce my historical novel. it took so much research, being set in the 1650s. tough to dig up information on that era, I think. but...I guess I'm really slow. now I want/need to tackle the sequel. am hoping to be a lot faster this time around. but like you said, quality is a big deal to me. so, I guess it will take what it will take. sigh...I admire you guys, your productivity!

Guy: xxxx, do you also bring your own household cast-offs to someone else's yard sale?

Her: EXCUSE ME?????

Her: Stella, if I've offended you, I hope you'll let me know. this PB person apparently thinks I have? scratching my head...I thought we were just discussing

Me, sublty letting her know that I'm not happy: I think xxx refers to your book link since this is a thread for my book. He has a point, but I let it slip through because you didn't ask me to buy your book.

Her: he has a point, really? I think he was rude. I put the link there so you would know what I was referring to...sheesh

Me: Yes, he has. It's one of the reasons I wrote this book. I know it's the MOA forum, but it's my thread, where I'm plugging my book. I don't read HF, and we had a friendly and funny exchange, which would have been absolutely okay without the link like:

I hang my head in shame because I write historical fiction and it took me ages for I needed to research a lot. See? I already had a look at your profile and noted that you're an author and editor. If I had wanted to, I could have bought the book. But I didn't, for it's not my genre.

Inserting a link takes a little effort, so everyone who inserts a link does it with a purpose: advertising. :-) 

Her: if I was advertising, I would have put the summary on there, etc. whatever! adios...

Me: Farewell, xxxx.

Her (by the way, she'd been on the thread since yesterday): you just cost yourself a book sale, and lots of likes and shares. all righty much for, "lovely to meet you"

Her: all that guy had to do was say something constructive, like pointing out the etiquette of the situation, which a newbie like me is often not aware of...but instead he chose to be rude and hurtful and smart-ass. go figure...

Me: Ah, xxxx. Why can't you just say, sorry, yes, I made a mistake and all would be good? You're proving the point of my book, though.

Never mind. I wish you good luck with your book.

Me answering another post: He was funny, xxxx. It was just a tongue in cheek comment. I assure you it was.

Her: ok, I am sorry, but I think that rude guy should say he's sorry, too. why such bitchiness? why not just point out an error, without that cutting edge? perhaps you two are proving the very point of your book, yourselves. good luck yourself.

Her: it was not funny to me, Stella. it hurt my feelings. I was only trying to share in the discussion. I don't see the humor in it, I really don't.

Me: Well, he was merely pointing out that you violated the etiquette. That was all. Not trying to be mean, but if you found that hurtful, you better brace yourself for the negative reviews that'll come. Every author gets them, and readers are tough. It needs a thick skin to take that all. ;-)

Her: I've already weathered several negative reviews, and have more than 25 years of newspaper and magazine experience. not a newbie in that arena, believe me. I just thought his comment was unnecessarily cutting. talk about picky!

Guy: xxxx, this thread was begun by this author to discuss her book. She might not care that you've used it to promote your own - but for what it's worth, I find it bad manners. I might be completely alone in this, but I doubt it.

Stella keeps a pet iguana, so very little phases her.

Her: ok, this is the last post on this from me, I promise. PB, I do understand NOW why you and/or Stella may interpret my original post and the Dreaded Product Link, OH MY, as "bad manners." however: I think both of you do everyone a disservice when you assume it's bad manners, rather than give the poster the benefit of the doubt. these little etiquette systems are quite mysterious at first...
iguana schmiguana
never piss into a strong Montana wind.

Then she said something else in a snidy manner. And I decided to leave it at that. 

Monday, November 19, 2012

It's out in the open!

The educational rant, that is.

It's available on Amazon at the moment and for a special price. If you need a laugh, go and grab it. Unless you're one of the Indie authors who are on my rather large chopping board.

Since I got my Kindle I have downloaded roughly 100 books�I'm a slow reader�which resulted in a deleting marathon.
Those who have been following my blog, know that I hold a Ph.D. in ranting. Be it about self-published authors and their behaviour in social media, or the mediocre to non-existent quality of self-published books. Not all of them, but certainly the ones I've deleted.
To help lift the overall quality, I decided to do what I do best: write a lengthy rant about my observations and experiences, followed by suggestions on how to make it better, and a few additional tips and tricks. Beware: it's not for the faint-hearted.
Whether you are a suffering reader or a self-published author, I hope you'll get a giggle and some useful advice, or maybe even both from this book.

If you'd like to get something off your chest: Rage against the Indie fan-/ememy-page 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Living on the edge: baking muffins

Because I'm the worst baker in the world, and only recently started to experiment with the oven, rather than on the hob, I decided to live a little dangerously and try my hands on muffins. I searched the Internet for the simplest recipe I could find, added butter instead of oil and some orange zest, and off I went. Of course without a kitchen scale. I don't weight anything, particularly not myself.

It was super easy and and the muffins actually are quite lovely.

Here's the recipe:


They are a little flat, but that is because I didn't know how much I had to put into the form. Next time, they'll be better. And I'll add banana and blueberries.

(Marcos, when you're reading this, I know you'll be damn proud of me.)

A meltdown on public display

This post is one of the reasons why I've written the 'educational rant'. It's yesterday's Facebook conversation between an author and I. I admit I couldn't hold myself back and, admittedly, wasn't super friendly. I'm so fed up seeing posts like this, and, to be honest, I don't think a calm approach would have changed his mind anyway.

" xxxx got a 3 Star rating, which is okay, except for the fact that the "review" was this low because the book is so SHORT! The "reviewer" admits not trying the recipes, but was unhappy with the size of the book even though its length is clearly posted as "Paperback: 60 pages". I asked Amazon to take down this "review" because I thought it was unfair. They REFUSED to do so and by REFUSING to take this "review" down, they have totally killed the sales of one of their better selling books. 
If you think this is unfair to me (and ALL authors since everyone could be in my place) please go say the "review" BY LAURIE H was unhelpful. Just click the NO button after the question: Was this review helpful to you?"
That was his post. Now the conversation:
Me: If I could I would downvote this post. Asking people to mark reviews as unhelpful on Amazon is Kindergarten. I wish authors would stop that silly behaviour. Absolutely ridiculous. There!
He: If you were an author, you might think differently. 
Me: No, I won't. Such behaviour is unprofessional and childish. Potential buyers aren't stupid. They can see that the review was not about content, but about the length. Authors who go and call all their friends or whoever for help are a disgrace for all self-published authors who have some integrity. I'm sick to the back teeth of seeing such posts. Leave the reviews alone.
He: So your not an author, I figured as much. You write like a total illiterate.
Me: You know there's a book coming out next week; it's called Rage against the Indie. You may want to take a peek at it. 
He: As long as you didn't write it, I will check it out. The FUNNY part of all of this is that AMAZON is screwing itself over by leaving the phony "review" up causing sales to be off by 90% (so much for smart buyers) AND losing the book entirely since I am moving it to Smashwords.
Me: xxxx, let's get serious. The current sales rank of the Kindle book is #215,679, and the paperback is not ranked at all. I'm not dissing the few sales, but your throwing a hissy fit over a review that most readers would ignore. Amazon probably won't care to lose the three or four sales.
It's not me being mean, it's me looking at the obvious. And you're not doing yourself a favour by acting like a child whose lunch box was stolen. Take it on the chin, shrug it off. So you got a 3 star review from an unsatisfied customer, and? Next one will be great again. See what I mean?
He: My CURRENT RANK, you idiot, is BECAUSE Amazon doesn't care (DUH!!!). BEFORE THE PHONY "REVIEW" it was ALWAYS in the top 15,000 in KINDLE sales. That is the MOST galling part of this, the "review" is for the CreateSpace edition but it is SCREWING all my editions. So Amazon can go fuck itself.
Me: You're doing a great job degrading yourself, xxxx.
He: Only to a LOSER like you.
Me: Keep going.
He: ...and you are irrelevant...
Me: And you're proving my point. Anyway, good luck with your sales, but lay off the reviewer attacking. It just doesn't look good on self-published authors.
He: Fortunately, no one cares what you think. Since you are a cipher.
Me: I leave you to it, then. I think with that attitude you're probably attacking reviewers who dare to dislike your book, too.
He: You must enjoy showing your ignorance, but then that is the purpose of FB.
That's when I left wondering how many more of those posts appeared elsewhere. This is what causes damage to self-publishing, and I'm not sitting back saying nothing.