Showing posts with label Stella Deleuze. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stella Deleuze. Show all posts

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The man in my life ...

A wonderful Green Iguana named Zorro. I have had him since August 2008 when he was just three years old. Took him from a couple who couldn't keep him anymore. My little female one died after a complicated surgery, age fifteen, and I still think she died of broken heart when she woke and thought I've abandoned her (had to leave her with a friend when I moved to the UK and she didn't take it very well). Long story and I think I told it before. So, because I can't imagine my life without an iguana, I looked for another one. And I wanted a 'rescue', as there are so many adult iguanas waiting for a loving and knowledgeable home. Those of you who have followed my blog for a while know that my biggest dream is to open a Reptile Rescue & Education centre here in London, but I doubt it's going to happen any time soon. Nothing can be more rewarding (to me) than helping abandoned animals to find a new home for them.



This big boy of mine is my medicine, is the one that really makes me smile, laugh even and, despite him being so aggressive, I love him to bits. Although in Zorro's case, it's literally unconditional; I doubt he loves me back like my little girl used to do.
Nevertheless, I'm glad to have him and would not give him away.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

When a review makes me spit out my tea.

After unleashing my rant onto the unsuspecting self-published authors, I honestly didn't know what would come my way; I expected abusive e-mails, negative reviews or attacks from everywhere. The reality surprised me. Lots of e-mails and messages telling me how much they laughed when they read the book, people admitting they recognised themselves, and thanking me for publishing a very helpful guide. I'm still a little gobsmacked to be honest. I feared my intentions weren't clear and people may take it the wrong way, when all I really want to do is help writers who think about self-publishing or those who've already done so and struggle to understand why their books aren't selling. Humour is what comes naturally to me, and as a Ranting Queen, I think it was a must to write that book as a rant. And it is harsh, but more tough love than anything else.


I received 4 reviews so far, 3 on the other side of the pond and 1 in the UK. I've also been told, and I'm hanging my head in shame, that there are a few typos, but somehow, I expected them. I was careful when proofing, took my time, but they still sneaked in. The perils of doing most of the work yourself, I guess.
Anyway, if you know someone who is toying with the thought of self-publishing, or maybe even someone who's just starting out to write, please share the news about the book. I hardly ask and I'm normally against it, but this is a book for writers, not aimed to make me a bit profit. The only people who should profit from the book are writers. :-)


Have a good Sunday.

Stella

Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm a guest blogger today

Because I've been ranting about self-published authors and their books for so long, I was approached by Louise, who's been blogging and supporting Indies for years now, but also runs monthly themes on her blog. November is all about either romance or KPD (Amazon's publishing platform). 
Of course I couldn't let such an opportunity slip by and said yes to writing an article.

You can read it here:

Please stop by and say hello.

Other than that: I'll post a new recipe shortly.
Because this post looks a bit lonely, I've decided to post the two reviews the book has received: Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

Review one:
I picked up this work with trepidation - given the title, and expected to find a negative diatribe on self-publishing - that new horizon for anyone who can tap on a keyboard. I was pleasantly surprised by --- the truth. This book hits the nail on the head, presenting the wide-ranging abuses and frustrating explosion of breakneck writing and unbridled promotion as an adjunct to the advent of self-publishing. The rant is not against self-publishing, but a bold, R-rated demand for quality and self-examination by those who feel they are the next Hemmingway and are merely inflicting their delusions on others. The rant is true and fair and is meant to be heard by authors who blame their readers for the failure to attract favor -- readers, who have reached the limit. I found the rant encouraging to those who heed the main points and soul search before they leap into the public publishing arena with works which make the reading public dizzy and gun-shy of the entire movement. The RANT is not meant to discourage those who have found readers, but to that fortunate sector, the message is clear -- and the course is definite. Quality, engaging stories, good editing, clean proofing and, in short, something worthy of writers for readers, and not a venture fired by a need to become rich and famous.

One-third of Stella Deleuze's book moves like fire (and frankly, I found the examples engagingly funny - almost like good stand-up. The remainder of the book covers sound principles in story delevopment and creation - many of which are covered in dozens of other books. However, unlike those texty classics, Ms. Deleuze remains engaging and clearly underscores the importance of some elements over others. I particularly enjoyed the section of detecting story discontinuity -- tests for common problems, which authors sometimes miss - like proofers miss problems lurking in Headlines.

I believe some might misunderstand this book's intent. However, I hope not. I hope many are put off from their endevors (or at least have second thoughts) and spare themselves and readers the late night hobby syndrome. I believe everyone has a voice, but sometimes the song is sour and the ears shut down. This Book IS a rant - don't doubt it, but solutions are offered and no apologies are given. Bravo!

****
Review two:
I encountered this book in the Meet Our Authors forum here on Amazon and, based upon the premise, decided to read what the Look Inside feature allowed. When I reached the end, I immediately bought it so I could finish.

This is strong, solid advice. I admit I've made some of the mistakes outlined in this book, especially when I first started toying with self-publishing. Now I sit ashamed, thinking back on some of my dumbest self-promotional tactics. How annoying was I?

How annoying am I now?

Every self-published author should fork over the .99c for this book. If it doesn't improve your perspective on marketing, you're probably a full-time writer, which means you didn't need to read it anyway.

Thank you for this.

Winston

Amazon.co.uk 77p
Amazon.com  99c 

Monday, November 19, 2012

It's out in the open!

The educational rant, that is.

It's available on Amazon at the moment and for a special price. If you need a laugh, go and grab it. Unless you're one of the Indie authors who are on my rather large chopping board.




Blurb:
Since I got my Kindle I have downloaded roughly 100 books�I'm a slow reader�which resulted in a deleting marathon.
Those who have been following my blog, know that I hold a Ph.D. in ranting. Be it about self-published authors and their behaviour in social media, or the mediocre to non-existent quality of self-published books. Not all of them, but certainly the ones I've deleted.
To help lift the overall quality, I decided to do what I do best: write a lengthy rant about my observations and experiences, followed by suggestions on how to make it better, and a few additional tips and tricks. Beware: it's not for the faint-hearted.
Whether you are a suffering reader or a self-published author, I hope you'll get a giggle and some useful advice, or maybe even both from this book.


If you'd like to get something off your chest: Rage against the Indie fan-/ememy-page 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

On days when you need a smile ...

... a reader comes along and helps you make it happen.

My short story collection 5-Minute Tea Break Stories is the only book I haven't sent out for reviews. I had it free for three days, though, and one person who downloaded it left me the following review:

This is a collection of short stories written with great wit and style. Ms Deleuze is often irreverent and campy, but also can be very deep and thoughtful. Her stories run the gamut from loss to triumph, and frequently leave you wondering at the outcome. She has a beautiful poetic voice that makes you look at everyday occurrences in a new light.

I think it is a wonderful review and I'm still marvelling at the 'poetic voice'. Thank you, Shirley (mountainmana). I'm happy to have made you happy.


In the spirit of sharing: here's a small excerpt of my upcoming novel. The rewriting is taking a little longer than expected as the educational rant sidetracked me, but I hope to have this book done by end of this year.

Contraryto yourexpectationsyoudon'tmanagetosleep.Afteryou'vesentthee-mail, youhadanotherlookather interactions with others on Novelsite.Someguyssenthercompliments,wereflirtatious.Heranswerswere ascharmingasusual.You are unsurewhereitallcamefrom,but havingreadthoseexchangestriggers yourdesiretogooutandhavesomecompany.Thoughit'slate,youknowaplacethatisopentill early in the morning.Youshutdownthecomputeranddepart.
Fifteenminuteslater,youarriveatthebar.Whenyouenter,theownerlooksupfromthenewspaperhe'sreading.Younodintohisdirectionandtakeaseatatthebar.Hepoursyouascotch.Evenifyoudon'tcomeoften,heknowsyourdrink.Youneverspeaktoeachother; sincethatoneeveningyoudrankfartoomany,it'snotnecessary.Hewouldn'tstartaconversation,neitherwouldyou.Thatparticulareventshowedyouhavenocommongroundandyouendedupfrustratedaboutexplainingeverystatement. It'squietinhere,youthink.Unusualfortoday.Aglancearoundcountsninepeople,includingyouandthebarman.Agirlsitsbyherselfinthecorner,reading.Herredbobframeshercountenance,makingherstrongfeatureslooklikeapieceofart.Asifshefeelsyourstare,sheliftsherhead.Inthedimmedlightyoucan'tmakeoutwhatshe'sreading,butthefactthatshesitsherealoneonaFridaynight,holdingabook,makesherinterestingenough. Shesmilesatyou.Herfartooperfectlipsrevealasetofwhiteteeth.Youknowit'srude,butyoucan'tholdhergaze.Ashamed,youlookaway and into yourglass. Whenyoutakeasip,yousensehereyesscanningeachinchofyourbody. Anothersip.Itfeelswarm,comfortablywarm.Slow,butconfidentfootstepsonthewoodenfloor.Youlistencarefully,yourgriptightens.Five,six,seven,eight.Then,theystop.Thescentofflowery,expensiveperfumepenetratesyournostrils.
'Could I have another Chardonnay, please.'sheaddresses the owner.Hervoicesurprises.It'snothinglikeyouthoughtitwouldbe.Muchdeeper�notdispleasing,though.Afaintaccentgivesawayshe'snotanative.Itsoundsinviting.She then turns to you.
'You'rewaitingforsomeone?'
'I wish,' you reply with a smile.
'Wouldyoumindmesittinghere?'Withoutwaitingforananswershelaysdownherbookandtakesaseat.Itsauthorisno-oneforeigntoyou.Awell-knownphilosopher�yourfavourite.Youtrytohideyourexcitement.Thiswillbeinteresting.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Not for the faint-hearted

I'm talking about my upcoming book. Those of you who follow my blog, know that I've got a massive bone to pick with quite a few self-published authors, and what better way to do it than with a book? As the title hints, I've turned up the heat a few notches, but I hope people will take it for what it is: an educational rant.
The first half contains my outbursts about 'misbehaving' authors and my gripes with the overall quality of writing; the second half focusses (yes, with two s, and that by choice!) on writing and editing. I'm giving wrong and right examples, as well as a tips and tricks on fine tuning.
To soften the blow, I added the tag line. I've been told that half the readers would laugh their heads off, thanks to the Carry On series.Do I care? No. I love it.
Right, I'll stop talking now and just present you the cover. I anticipate the book's release on the 15th of November and I'll also be guest-blogging later this months, watch this space for more details.


See what I did there? The word-play? I know, I know, it's provocative, but that's exactly what I want to achieve. The wonderful Sandra Giles is responsible for translating my ideas into a cover.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Beware, self-publishers. A massive storm front is coming your way!

Since I got my Kindle I have downloaded roughly 100 books, which resulted in a deleting marathon
Thosewhohavebeenfollowingmyblog,knowthatIholdaPh.D.inranting.Beitaboutself-publishedauthorsandtheirbehaviourinsocialmedia,orthemediocretonon-existentqualityofself-publishedbooks.Tohelplifttheoverallquality,Itriedtowriteaself-editingmanual,butfailedmiserably.It'snotmyforte.IthendecidedtodowhatIdobest:writealengthyrantaboutmyobservations,myexperiences, include suggestions on how to make it better,andthrowinafewtipsandtricks;allofittongueincheek, of course.Beware:it'snotforthefaint-hearted.

This is an excerpt of how it will look/sound like. The self-editing help will be thrown in where appropriate. Remember it's a first draft and will be edited/proofread before it's published.

 

Self-publishing is great!


Every time I think I may have a day without an idiot-intervention, life decides I could do with one more. I'm on the Amazon forum, chatting away, discussing self-published books on a thread I've started because the ones I've read didn't convince me. I want to know how others feel about it. The opinions are, as expected, mixed, which is always a good basis for a healthy debate. I'm just posting a recent experience with a self-published book, explaining my reasons for not liking it, when a new post from a person, who's not participated yet, appears.

As a self-published author I must say it is great to finally be able to get my writing to the readers directly. After having been rejected by several agents I almost gave up, but then Kindle came along and I thought why not try it? I'm a bit unsure as I've never showed my writing to anyone but my grandmother, and she really liked it. I've published my book 'First Novel', and I wonder if you all can take a look and give me constructive feedback.

Huh? So you are telling me you had no feedback on your writing and went ahead with publishing despite that? I sigh deeply. It's not the first time that that happened; on a thread clearly for readers to exchange their opinions, self-published authors will come at least twice a week, telling us about their experiences and how great it is to be able to self-publish. While nobody denies the greatness of it, it's hardly the right place to report how it was for them. I've since then come to the conclusion that most self-published authors can't read to save their lives, or understand what they've read for that matter. Seriously? The title of that thread reads: Self-published books: pain or gain? Writers misread it continuously as: self-publishing books: pain or gain? And that's just the beginning; they don't even read the original posts, which clearly determines what the thread is about. No, they jump right in shouting about their books, hardly any of them gives an answer to my question: Have you read self-published books and what is your opinion on the quality?
I could go through the over 3500 posts to count how many authors actually misread it, but I seriously can't be arsed. Out of 201 participants, my guess is about 150 have misread the title. When I, or someone else, points out their mistake, most of them won't even see it as their only intention was to dump their book links and bugger off, never to be seen again. Or if they actually read our reply most of them get rather defensive. My favourite one: I've read plenty of traditionally published books that are rubbish!
Aha! And that gives you the excuse to publish rubbish, too. Is that what you're saying? No, is the reply, but there are plenty of great self-published book out there!
Okay, I ask, can you name one really great gem you've discovered?
The author then spares me an answer. My guess is they haven't read any self-published books but her own. Another wonderful argument they use is: self-published books are great because they can push the boundaries, authors are not restricted by any publishing house anymore. That freedom is priceless.
Right, let me get that straight, you think that all traditionally published authors' voices are muted? That publishers release only uninteresting, boring titles and never any edgy stuff?
Haha. Now you made me laugh. A few years ago I read James Frey's A Million Little Pieces and thought it was pretty out there: not only the subject matter, but also the style. It was raw; and it was written with minimal punctuation (no quotes in dialogue, which, by the way I didn't even notice back then). Twilight, no matter what you think of it, was pretty experimental with the sparkling vampire. Little Brown took the risk and the rest is history. And what about Trainspotting? So don't tell me that the big six or even the smaller reputable publisher don't publish edgy fiction, it's just not correct. I also would like to see one edgy example of self-published books that made it to the top. Go on, then, tell me one. Okay, 50 Shades Of Grey, but that's not really edgy. It's just erotica, and that has always sold well.
When I ask people to provide me with proof that self-publishing is the next big talent mill, I'll never get an answer. I doubt it's any more a talent mill than traditional publishing. There are talented authors in both publishing arms. Many self-publish because either they don't have a marketable enough book and got rejected, or they choose to go their own way. They normally won't make millions with it anyway, no matter how they publish it. The majority of readers don't want edgy, they want easy and familiar. John Locke, E.L. James, Amanda Hocking are quoted, but they're not really edgy; they are genre writers, exactly the 'easy and familiar' people want. Nothing wrong with that, but it's proof that only genre writers will make it big. You write for the right market, you're in it with a chance, so spare me your shite about edgy and new talent. I've yet to find one, to be honest. What I've read was mostly badly plotted, unedited stuff. I mean it. Some of it such utter drivel a 13-year-old school kid could have done better. Recently, I saw a post from a girl who had published her first offering. Of course never showed it to anyone, and why would she? Just use the paying public as beta readers, that'll do nicely. Not!

She left the house. She walked to the car. Then she opened the door and sat behind the wheel. She looked in the mirror to check her make up, then started the car and drove away.

I'm not kidding you, that's about the same style she wrote. What's worse is that a reader saw that 'plug' of hers and went to leave a review for the short piece, saying she was really impressed and that the author should be proud of herself. I almost fell off my chair. These are the kind of books readers are offered and I'm not surprised that so many people knock self-publishing. With no quality control readers have only one choice: skim through the floating rubbish until they find something readable. Those thoughtless authors are a disgrace for those of us who take our job�yes, it's a job�seriously. Believe it or not, but there are people who outline their stories with care, develop their characters so that they come alive, know a thing or two about showing instead of telling and, in general, have some acquainted skills to craft a good and entertaining book.
I've read books with holescraters in them, it was beyond belief. Not to forget the illogical behaviour of the main characters or story lines. I just wanted to slap the authors. Hard and repeatedly. Then I read books that were decent, but bored me stiff. Exactly that kind of books people claim traditional publishers would publish: same old, same old. They often are by seasoned authors who have been under contract and decided to go DIY, for they have the control over it and can break out of the in-house styles of their previous publishers. Do they do it? No. The books were well-edited, but frankly the stories didn't have anything interesting to them, no bite, no grip, nothing that wanted me to forget feeding the iguana, or myself.