The pains of rewriting

There's not one book I can't fix. I'm an editor, in the end and no matter how terrible the book, I can see clearly where it needs improvement; be it on the character or plotting front, I'll have suggestions on how to make it better. Not one book! Except the one I finished writing a year ago and despite going back to it several times in an attempt to fix it, I seem to be unable to do it. It not that I'm totally clueless; I know exactly what I need to do and how I want it to be done, but somehow I can't translate it on to paper. Being the Universe's slowest reader doesn't help much either. The problem is that the book has no chapters, and deliberately so. It's also not a plot driven novel, which means everything relies on the character, to whom I'm trying to give more depth, make him more edgy and have him struggle a bit more. I'm adding a dog, a neighbour, another hobby, something that wasn't planned in the first place and they need to be added very carefully as they interrupt the flow otherwise.The book mainly lets the reader follow the main character's thoughts and life. There's hardly any dialogue in it and it's all written in second person point of view and no, I will not change any of those 'broken rules'. If people complain, sod them. It's not your average book and I never intended it to be. The feedback I had so far was overwhelmingly great. Readers said they felt like something pulled them in, they couldn't stop, had to read on, mesmerised, which, I think, is good, but I'm still not happy, because that special something is missing. To me, that is.
It's not that I have been rewriting and editing like a manic -- far from it. I gave it a proper go and got totally confused and muddled up, then left it alone. I haven't even touched the second half yet. The main character's life is so boring, repetitive and uneventful, it's hard to make heads or tails of it. I also need to make it more commercial, more general. Which means, rewriting huge parts of it, deleting minor characters. At the moment, he works, writes, reads and sleeps. Every day the same. Only the 'online-relationship' he encounters shakes up his world. A bit. It's also a story based on a true event, so I stick to what happened as closely as I can.
I deleted huge chunks that didn't work and they made space for the additions. My problem is that I can't find the ideal places on where to put the additions. Something I never had before. I'd happily add scenes to other books I wrote, but this particular one makes me want to shoot myself. I know it'll be like Marmite; people will either love or hate it, but to get it to the point that I can actually release it, seems a very far cry from what I'm standing at the moment. I'm determined to get there and if I can't fix that book, nobody can. I have an idea on how to make it easier for me, but if it works, remains to be seen. I'd like to publish this masterpiece some time this year, so I better get going, eh?

I love similes and metaphors

When used in moderation, that is. I've recently started to edit my literary fiction novel and because I haven't touched it since I finished in May, I stumble over one or the other surprise. I admit, that I wrote most of the book when I had too much wine, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe for my liver, but certainly not for the book. Fear not, I didn't make a habit of it, that book, though, seemed to require drastic measures.

I challenged myself with that novel. When I re-read the part I wrote the night before, I was amazed what I came up with. And it was often hard to write, but I loved every minute of it. I also learned that I've got a knack for similes and metaphors, something I never knew I had in me. To me literary fiction is beautiful prose, character driven, rather than plot driven; it's letting the reader look at a person from a different angle. Not necessarily unreadable, which many books in this genre are. I like it simple and want to prove that you can produce a readable novel when breaking all the rules there are. And yes, I use similes and metaphors in it, not too many, they're neatly fitted without overpowering the rest.

Here are a few examples:

Finally the tiredness overcomes you and for the last time tonight, before you close your eyes, a shadow of unease reaches out, hoping for a ride into your dreams.

You like to play with emotions, possibilities, meanings. With sentences, skilfully built as they appear on screen as beautiful as rainbows against the grey sky. Each word a different colour.

Then, there's reading; letters that form sentences, sentences that touch your feelings, being transferred into the depth of your mind while your eyes scan each and every word twice, searching for a deeper meaning.

Now, that the sun is gone, the chill wraps around you like a cold blanket. 

She's like a figure behind frosted glass, showing shades and shapes, but never gives a clear vision of what's behind.

And another passage:

The blue sky has made way for a wide range of grey. Soft warm raindrops fall onto your face, soak through your shirt. In general, you love the summer rain, to sit underneath a roof or window and hear its harmonious drumming. It's the time when you write, a whiskey to one side and an ashtray filled with cigarette butts to the other. No music, as it would distract from the rhythm dictating the tempo of your synapses' transmitting. On days like that you feel free of all your commitments. A man who is one with himself, a soul at peace and a light mind, without the ballast of everyday life; your brain pleased to receive the exercise it so desperately needs. 
  

The novel is written in second person, present tense, the characters are not named and the reader is mostly in the male MC's head. As soon as I'm finished with revamping the novel, I'll have a few other Beta readers who have expressed interest. Wish me luck. The novel is written in second person, present tense, the characters are not named and the reader is mostly in the male MC's head. As soon as I'm finished with revamping the novel, I'll have a few other Beta readers who have expressed interest. Wish me luck.

Oh and you'll find a slightly longer excerpt here: