Tear here --->

It has nothing to do with what I want to post about; I just opened a pack of chocolate digestives and although it asked me to 'Tear here', nothing happened when I tried to 'tear there'. Never mind, with a tiny bit of brute force I got there in the end. Happy dunking.

As you will have noticed, I haven't posted for a week. Really sorry, or, hey, I gave you some time to breathe; depending on how you see it. The reason being is that I think I had my first ever migraine. That's nothing to be proud of as it's hardly an achievement you'd want; unless you're weird and like to have pounding headaches and hourly vomiting with said headache, only interrupted by sleeping. I lived on Paracetamol for three whole days. Oh and three bananas; okay, two, the other one didn't even get to be digested. If I go and lie down and lose my appetite, boy, it's serious. I haven't been to see the GP yet, but I will, in hope to find out it was just a bug. I never had a serious headache in my life; not even when I banged my head hard against whatever jumped in my way, and I banged my head a lot. Me getting a migraine is just ridiculous... Migraine! Better be a bug!
The head's still not back to normal, but then speaking of normal in relation to me is a little odd itself.

So with me bed and housebound, with my Internet not working (my neighbours had theirs fixed on Monday and the guy who did that, obviously thought I could do without it and fiddled with the wrong cables), I resorted to three things: giving my body back some much needed calories by eating four chocolate croissants (yes, you read right), planting the runners of the spider plant in several pots, and read. The Kindle is perfect for that; I'm still a bit sensitive to the bright screen on my laptop and squint from time to time. Laughing, they say, is the best medicine. And I did laugh, not so good for my head, but immensely wonderful for my soul. The book is a true account of a man being fed up with his job and boring life and goes to open an delicatessen. Without any knowledge at all. It's hilarious, it's charming, it's refreshingly honest and I really want to go for a drink with that author. I think we'd never stop laughing. If I ever stop in his neck of woods, I'll pop by his delicatessen and ask for some chips, that'll probably not warm him to me, but give me great satisfaction. The book is called I'd sooner starve, if you like my weird sense of humour, you'll most probably love his. I'm only 51% in and have already cried tears of laughter.

Edit: I now finished the book and am a bit disappointed; the book starts to go downhill after the first half. At least to me. But it's a good book to read for everyone who dreams of attempting something similar. Customers are a pain in the arse; I know that from my own experience in hospitality as well as customer service.

Speaking of food: the iguana got fed and my neighbour across the hall kindly bought some food for him. Poor Zorro was rather confused -- or perhaps it was relief I saw in his eyes -- as he didn't see much of me those days, but no matter how ill I am, I'll feed him, and if I have to crawl out of bed on my nipples. I do not envy those with children...

As soon as I'll be back to my normal self, I'll start writing again. The thriller has been terribly neglected, so has the second book of rants. Wish you all a great weekend.

Farewell

How could you do this to me? Presenting your new love, right in my face, before dumping me! Is that what you call a gentle let-down? I'm hurt, yes, you hurt my feelings. What was it I did so wrong? Wasn't I reliable enough? Maybe you didn't like how I changed over time. Everyone changes, you know? I feel used; you used me and I'm worn out. I gave my all, every time you needed me. And I felt your affection, every god damn single moment I was with you. Of course it was hard when you abandoned me for days, left me in the dark, when I didn't know when I'd see you again, but I kept waiting, patiently, in silence; hoping we'd soon be re-united. You came back for me, always and I cannot tell you the warmth that spread through me when you did. I knew I had to share you with others, and I didn't mind, as long as I could be sure you'd not forget me.

I remember the first time you lay hands on me: firm � rough almost � it was when I knew you had the experience to handle me. The first few weeks were trial and error, you needed to get used to me, with how I would respond to your handling. I let you do whatever you wanted to do with me, not once was I scared about my safety. I like being submissive. Oh and you did so well. I could sense you were proud and you wanted to show me around, introduce me to your friends; it was the day I caught fire, the flames licking at me, yet I did withstand until you came to my rescue. Were you really that upset back then? It wasn't your fault, just an accident, but noticing the burns I carried, your heart cracked a little. And you never got over it, did you?

I think I can count myself lucky you stuck to me nevertheless � I can't imagine how it would have been had you dumped me right there and then. That would've been cruel, wouldn't it? No, you are not that type of girl who'd do that, you are loyal. On the other hand, had you done it back then, I might not be as sad as I'm now. I wonder if it wasn't enough to hold on to everything you gave me, you stirred a lot, testing me to my limits, added spice to every get together, got me all hot, I won't deny I enjoyed it. I was part of your existence.

But everything has changed, from one day to another, you went to find my replacement. After five years of true commitment to our relationship, you've abandoned me again, only I know you'll never come back for me. I fought one last battle and lost. You found a new loyal companion and I have to move on. Farewell and thank you for keeping a roof over my head.

Your