Over here, doctor, this patient is dying!

Zero, zilch, nada: 0

This is how how many books I've sold in the past few days. I enrolled two of my books, Excuse me, where is the exit? and Candlelight Sinner, in the KPD select programme in hope to boost up the sales,  particularly of my two novels and maybe the short stories, but the result is disappointing. I gave away about 5k in total (both books) and believe me I'm glad for it; it would hurt me even more had I given away 40k or more, like others. In the beginning it looked all fine; the short stories climbed rapidly to the top, as high as #3 of the humour charts and #7 (if I remember correctly) in the overall free charts, which was rather exciting to watch. When the three days were over, they didn't sell any for a few days, then sold about 100 more than usual (between 150-170 a month).
This is for my short stories only. The novels still sat on the shelves like blocks of concrete.
The second time was beginning of March to use up the remaining days for the short stories. The novels got a small boost, but still not worth a mention. That month, one year after publishing them, sales were at their lowest and then stopped completely. The KPD programme and free promotion has, in fact, killed my sales. Not really what I was expecting.

I was wary, but curious. Now I'm wiser. Though I have another day left for the novel, I will not use it. My fazit is that it's not worth it. 

Of course it all can turn around again, once those, who downloaded Candlelight Sinner, read and like it, then proceed to buying Excuse me, where is the exit? and vice versa. Which may be a small percentage as people tend to download and stock up their Kindles faster than they can read, then delete most of the novels again without even reading them.

Although there are a few who are doing really well after the promotion, there are still more who, I guess, didn't benefit from it, or worse, as in my case, actually are counting dead bodies. I know that Talli Roland reported a decrease in sales, too. See her blog post here:
Have you experienced an increase or decrease in sales weeks after the promotion ended?

It's been a year today

It's been a year since the massive earthquake hit Japan, followed by the devastating tsunami. It was a time where the world stopped moving while everyone stared at the shocking pictures of people losing their home, their income, their loved ones, their lives. It was a time where people, who didn't know each other, got together and helped those in need. It was a time that proved that humanity still exists. The amount of money that had been raised and given to the charities was amazing.
I personally won a friend because of all that mess. Ryan, who lives in Tokyo, and I had been chatting for many hours while he tried to get the grips with what happened. And I was worries about a few others I knew living in Japan. Thankfully, they were all okay. Shocked, but alive. Even though they all struggled to cope. Understandable.

Slap bang on the 10th of March, I published Excuse me, where is the exit? which went live on the 11th, and I made the spontaneous decision to give the proceeds of the first three months coming from the book's sales to the Red Cross and Doctors without Borders, two excellent organisations.
So for me it's two anniversaries, the sad and the happy one. I'm proud to have shifted sales in the four figures and the journey has been interesting, to say the least. The book has been as high as #5 in the Amazon humour charts and received excellent feedback. I'm currently writing on the second book of 'rants' as I call them and should publish it some time this year.

Again, I'd like to thank all of you who went to buy the book to support the people in Japan. Thank you for helping, thank you for forgiving me the many errors in the book, the formatting issues. Thank you for recommending the book, back then and now.

THANK YOU

Big Al has spoken

and I'm having another wine right now. I sent them my short stories shortly after I published them last year in March. They had warned me that they're busy, but gee, I had no idea how busy. But gut Ding will Weile haben as the Germans say.

Today I had visitors from their blog and checked  out the 'why'. My heart beat accelerated because they had posted a review. I was prepared for the worst because they are well known for their straight out reviews. No holding back. One of the most respected review blogs. So, with my throat a little tighter, I read it and breathed. In and out. In and out.


Here's what they said (courtesy Big Al's Books and Pals):

Murphy rules in this collection, which has fun with the minor miscues and mishaps that happen in everyday life. While it sometimes seems that everything that can go wrong, does , they are all normal kinds of problems. Some are unique to women (either one of those things that wouldn�t bother most men, or that a man would never encounter). If you haven�t experienced most of these things, you�ll know someone who has.

Humor requires a tough balancing act. A typical approach is to exaggerate in some way. Depict the stupid or clumsy as stupider or clumsier. Make everything bigger than life (just a little over-the-top), yet recognizable as true to life. Deleuze�s exaggeration comes, not in the events that go wrong, but in the sheer number of tiny mishaps that accumulate. It�s a more subtle humor than the over-the-top bigger, badder, or sillier. You might not have many laugh-out-loud guffaws, but you�ll still find the stories funny (as long as they aren�t happening to you), as those numerous chuckles accumulate. 

They also mention a small amount of issues with spelling and proofing, which I knew, but they have been sorted since I sent it over to them. I assume that's the four out of five stars, nevertheless, I'm very happy indeed.

Thank you, guys from Big Al. You rock!

When the reader smiles

Then the author has done a good job. I've just been surprised with a new review for my short story collection and I thought I'd share it with you:

I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of observational essays by Stella Deleuze. They are written from the perspective of a jaded and frequently annoyed woman who encounters numerous situations in life that frustrate her - think of grumpy old women and multiply it by 100.

As a grumpy old woman myself I completely empathised with many of her chapters. In fact, I could have written the chapter on wasps myself - everything she did was almost a mirror copy of things I have done. There have been many times over the years, just like Stella, when I have had to shut myself out of a room just because an uninvited wasp has flown in through the window. To then have to stand staring at it enjoying my much wanted cup of coffee and slice of cake just leaves me feeling impotent and annoyed.

Her description of her night being 'rescued' by well meaning friends and being dragged away to a night club was so funny. That mean little side of me was also pleased when I read about what happened to 'Silly's' handbag!

I think this book will resonate with many female readers who will recognise their own annoyances and frustrations with life within many of the chapters. Yes, there is probably a lot of exaggeration in the events described but that is what makes it so funny. This book may appeal to some males but I doubt that it is going to be the kind of thing that many will enjoy. I can imagine that many men will find it hard to believe that women often have such bizarre thoughts and can get so annoyed with what they might consider trivia. For any men who intend to read this book - it isn't fiction; it honestly is what many of us females are hiding so well behind our gentle and calm smiles. Reading this might make you look at your missus in a whole new light!

This isn't an overly long book; I read it in under a day. However, what I liked about it was that each chapter is totally unrelated to the next one so it is a perfect book for picking up and reading one section at a time, perhaps for lunch or a coffee break.

This book definitely put a smile on my face and it won't be long before I look out for some more of Ms Deleuze's work.

Note from me D. Jones, did you know that you made me laugh? There might be a comedian hiding in yourself, you know? :-) Thank you for your kind words.

Third donation for Japan made

Hello, lovely readers

I've now made the third donation. A total of �150 to make a round sum. It was equally divided between the British Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders as gift aid.

Here's the e-mail I've received from BRC:



Dear Stella Deleuze
 
Thank you for your donation to the British Red Cross - Japan Tsunami Appeal. Japanese Red Cross workers are treating the injured, providing psychological support and distributing relief items in the aftermath of a massive earthquake which hit Japan on 11 March.

Your donations make a real difference.
Thank you.
Your donation amount is: �75
Your reference number is: INC01355030

And Doctors Without Borders:

Dear Stella Thank you for your donation of �75.00 to M�decins Sans Fronti�res UK. The reference for this donation is W0008675

Your gift is of huge value both to our field teams and our patients. Donations such as yours make our work possible as they allow us to remain independent from political, religious and economic interests, thereby ensuring our freedom to provide medical assistance whenever and wherever it is needed. Your support enables us to negotiate armed checkpoints and borders, to reach those most forgotten and at risk. It also means we can offer treatment for infectious diseases, to people who struggle to get even the most basic medical care, due to conflict, exclusion, or poverty. If you have any questions about your donation or the work that it is helping to fund, please feel free to get in touch on 020 7404 6600 or email uk.fundraising@london.msf.org.

Again, huge thank you to each and everyone who bought the book, recommended it, commented on it and helped to spread the word. I wouldn't have been able to donate over �200 for Japan and I'm really really glad I could.

Donation for April Sales have been made

Just a quick information for those who follow up on the sales and trusted me with their money by buying my book.

I've sold 258 in the UK, 27 on amazon.com. I'm waiting for the combined cheque for March and April to be sent. Contacted Customer Service yesterday as I didn't receive any payment for the .com sales yet.
For now, I've donated �35 as gift aid to British Red Cross, for Japan Tsunami relief.
And I've given away one "L" with it.

I've also made the donation of �30 to Doctors, but, same as last time, it says it's delayed and I'll receive an e-mail as soon as the payment went through. This payment has also been made as gift aid.

And here the e-mail of DWB:

Dear Stella Thank you for your donation of �30.00 to M�decins Sans Fronti�res UK. The reference for this donation is W0003259

Thank you again, to those who helped me spreading the word and I hope you don't regret buying the book. The sales for May have been a lot higher and the next donation will be �150. A massive success, I'd say.

You guys are great!

Amazon payment on its way!

I've got notice from amazon that my first payment is on its way. That's for the sales in March (116, 100 in the UK and 16 in the US). They pay me for the UK sales only since you need to have a mininum of $10 to rectify a cheque to be sent out. I'll get paid for the US sales next month.
However the first payment will be �35 and will immediately go to charity. It's not the world, but it doubles next month and so on since sales for Excuse me, where is the exit?  have increased steadily.

 

Just to clarify again: I'm not posting this to brag, rather than informing people who follow the development, who helped me get the word out there and, at the end of the day, it's you readers who make it happen. Without you guys, I wouldn't be able to donate. Besides, there not much to brag about approaching a mere 1000 sales. I know of some authors who sold 7k in seven weeks or 10k in four months or people who just sell many more books than me. But I'm still a little proud. ;-)

Further good news:

My next book, No Wings Attached, will be out soon. It's still in proofing phase, but I hope I manage to release it on the 31st as planned. I think I'll have a little party with some friends, especially Fifi, who kindly offered to help me smoothing out my Germish. Thank you, Fi! I love you.

And more:

I'll be at the Stoke Newington Literary Festival. As a visitor, but I plan to be actively involved with a workshop next time round. I'll be meeting some fab people I've met on authonomy and am majorly excited to hug them all. Yes, I've threatened them to do that.

It's going to be a blast!

Warm up your kindles! My book's out! All proceeds go to Japan.

****UPDATE****

Sales have risen to 82 so far; keep them coming. Please help to get enough together to make a difference. I've now decided to donate all proceeds to the BritishRedCross and Doctors without Borders.

 





I plan to raise money to donate to the people who have lost everything in Japan.I've set a low price so that as many people as possible can afford to buy it. All profits go to charity.

Excuse me, where is the exit? is now available to download from amazon UK  at �1.14 and amazon US at $0.99. You can read some excerpts of the book if you click on the link, there above, under my name on the top of the page.

Review from a reader:  I've just finished reading this. It's a collection of light hearted short stories written from a woman's point of view. I recognised myself in some of them! Obviously I enjoyed some more than others - my personal favourites are Cycling, Housework, Wasps and Hairdresser. Some of these had me laughing out loud!

I hope you enjoy it. Leave me feedback and recommend it to anyone who can't run fast enough.

Please help. It's not only an entertaining read, but it's for a good cause, too.

I'm working on making the book available via POD, for those who prefer a paperback.

If you'd like to have a signed copy, please contact me via e-mail. You can find the address to the right.

Love,

Stella

When gaining editing skills means losing the desire to read

How come, you might wonder. Well, I'm inclined to tell you, because I think you know exactly how it feels like. Since March 2009 I've written three books. Now you might think it's not many, but I'm quite happy with this. I'm also published as a contributor to the anthology Words to Music, which is available on Amazon now. All profit goes to several charities. Yes, that's a hint. :-)
I've just started the forth, a cook book with a theme, but I still need to do the proofing for my second book, which is the most 'ready' to be published.
The first book needs rewriting, for I'm turning it into a series and the third book, which I don't have on show anywhere, apart from some excerpts, will go through its first edit, too. So I have three books that need work to get them out there, one that needs to be written and I've started a venture that will take up most of my time, let alone another book-project that I'll co-author with a dear friend of mine.

What I find peculiar is that I do have trouble to read, I mean really to enjoy it. It's like my editing skills have killed my desire to let go and step out of my life into the story. As a teen, I used to read stacks of books, always brought home half the library. Even as a slow reader, I got through a vast amount of novels. I would forget eating, sleeping - everything around me. As an adult I continued, perhaps not as many books anymore, but still, I read every night before going to sleep. Since I began to take writing seriously, I stopped. Completely. First, because I was busy with editing my own work, then with editing other people's work, I read, but it was still work, second, because I started writing on my next novel.

But I actually began reading again about a month ago. At the moment I'm reading Eats, shoots and leaves and am enjoying it immensely while learning. I don't have the red pen in my head, I don't roll my eyes and I don't sigh over cliches. I only laugh and nod a lot. It's a wonderful book if you want to learn about punctuation, which was my intention. Every night, I will take time out from my day and read. Even if only a few pages, but I really want to get back to loving a good story, because I always have.