The curious encounter of Stella Deleuze

There are things I really love, like my new flavoured coffees, my iguana, cycling, cooking, writing, editing, yes even helping, but there are things I can't stand. At all: time wasters.

A few days ago on Twitter, I connected with a guy who apparently studies English Literature and loves reading. Good. I like people who love books. I followed him back. We communicated and had a bit of a harmless banter; enjoyable, nothing offensive. Yesterday, he sent me a message and asked me if I could give him feedback on a bit of short fiction. Because I like to help, I agreed and shortly after I stared at the screen in disbelief.
Did he really mean that? That piece of short (really short) fiction was so badly written, even a 10-year-old would have done a better job. I was gobsmacked. I wondered if that guy is taking the piss, but I take things like that seriously, so I spent roughly ten minutes on giving him the feedback he wanted. Then I fought hard if I should tell him to better not continue with writing. I ended up telling him that the bit looked like a 9-year-old wrote it and that he has a long way ahead of him.
He got back to me, saying it was the most useful feedback he ever received. I thought he's just having a laugh.
When I asked him if he's only joking, he answered saying it wasn't even serious writing and it took him about five minutes to jot the stuff down, but he had some other writing he'd like feedback for.

Guess you can imagine my response. Yep, told him where to shove it.

As an editor I find it insulting that someone would send me such a text for feedback. I would have given him credit for not being a native, but jotting down some shite and asking me for feedback is plain rude and a waste of my time. I could have written an e-mail, made a coffee, given the iguana a head rub, edited my own stuff...
That said, next time someone random asks for feedback, they can pay cash upfront. Simple as that.

Tip of the week: unnecessary repetition

If there's something that really makes me groan when reading, then it's repetition. Or in other words, treating a reader like he or she is retarded.
What I see often is a scene being repeated through dialogue. Not only is it unnecessary, it's also clogging up word count and slows down the pace considerably. It's probably a trap most first time writers walk into, but it's easily avoided once you know about it. I did it myself -- with a minor character -- repeating his name after I'd introduced him to the reader a few pages before.
 
Let's make it a bit clearer: Character A and B have a conversation. Character B meets character C the next day and tell him exactly what the conversation was about in dialogue. Now I, the reader, have been present the first time, hanging on ever word character A and B exchanged and don't need to get it retold.

Or: A scene where a woman gets mugged, described in detail, how she screamed, what he said, how she reacted, maybe even that she thought he looked far too posh, etc. Later at the police station she's interviewed and the questions of the officer as well as her answers tell me the whole scene again. Boring!

Those kinds of repetitions aren't needed. It's often the moment, when I start skipping or at least sigh loudly.

Better to let character B fill character C in. C could then give an opinion about the conversation, perhaps even make a statement about character A.

And the police could ask additional questions, you can inform the reader what will happen next, they could try to identify the posh mugger by looking into their database.

If you eliminate those, you'll have a much tighter and better book. The reader will be thankful for it.

Tip of the week: editing, do it yourself

Time for another Tip of the week and today, I want to hand out a few tips on self-editing, on the how to tighten your writing and find overused phrases, as well as editing for logic.
Every writer has them, those tendencies to overuse a particular phrase; and every writer will put some small inconsistencies they will only catch with a bit of distance or when a reader points them out.
As an editor it's my job to point out those issues mentioned below. They are small things making a big difference if tackled.



Overused phrasing: 
It's one of the most difficult tasks to avoid repetition. I recently was more than annoyed with a book that contained so many latches I was dizzy. The challenge is trying to find other ways of describing the action.
He grabbed, he held on to her, closed his fingers around her wrist/arm, reached for her wrist, she tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't let go, etc.
I am guilty of overusing grins in No Wings Attached. After a friend told me about it, I cut them down severely.
A useful tool to find out if you're overusing a word/phrase is to search for it with the Find & Replace tool in Word. You'd be surprised what you'll find.

Logic & tightening:
What I see a lot in beginners' writing is the following:

Walking into the kitchen, she opened a fridge. She took out the milk and poured it into her coffee. Taking a sip, she mumbled, 'I simple can't believe that.'

Not only is it really annoying to read, it's also impossible, unless the kitchen is a fridge or so tiny that she could do both at the same time. Neither is talking that complete sentence while taking a sip. She can either talk or take a sip, or take a sip, then talk.
One of the most hilarious examples was: Running down the stairs she pulled on her jeans. 
Seriously? I'd like to see that stunt.
Check your manuscript for those often rather funny sentences.

The next example is perfectly fine:
Cleaning the kitchen, she listened to the radio. 

A few years ago, I read something like this:

It was completely dark, the backyard only lit by a dim light.

Then it wasn't completely dark, because it would mean no light at all. The first part isn't necessary to describe the scene. The backyard was only lit by a dim light.

Another example on tightening:

'As if that is necessary,' she grumbled. She wasn't in a good mood.

The second part becomes redundant as she's grumbling, so it's clear to the reader she's not chirpy.

I'm currently reading a book where I witnessed some action that'll be repeated later. A person dies, an investigation takes place, they search the house, interview the people who live in the house, etc.
Later on, I'm being retold through a dialogue the MC has with another character. Totally unnecessary. I was there, I saw the investigation, I heard them being interviewed, hell, I even witnessed the person die.
A simple: He filled her in, he told her what has happened, he described the event to her, etc. would be enough.
Okay, hope that'll give you some food for thoughts.
As usual, if you have anything else to add, feel free to comment; I'm sure others will be grateful.